You need to do more research on your vacation spot of choice than what the weather will be like. There are some weird laws out there, and even though many are no longer expected to be followed, a police officer can whip one out if she thinks you’re up to no good. For example, in Devon, Texas you’d better think twice before making furniture while naked. In Florida, men in strapless gowns might just get slapped with a hefty fine.
No matter where you plan to vacation, having a lawyer’s number in your phone can be your saving grace. You never know what kind of mess you might get into, especially when carrying violins in paper bags is a huge no-no in Salt Lake City, Utah. Here are some of the strangest laws you may encounter during your travels. Are you really ready for the next getaway?
Fight the law
If you’re an arsonist in Danville, Pennsylvania, make sure to check fire hydrants an hour before setting things off in flames (it’s the law). However, if you’re in New York and catch a restaurant calling a sandwich “corned beef” but it’s made with mayo and white bread, feel free to call the cops on them. Your rental car a little dirty in San Francisco? Feel free to clean it, but don’t use underwear if you want to avoid a fine.
For more distinguished travelers, nothing compares to a vacation in France. Just don’t sell any dolls without a human face unless you want to break the law. If you want to stay stateside but you wear dentures, be careful about how you fight in Louisiana. Simply biting someone with natural teeth is “simple assault” but if you break out the dentures and bite, it’s upgraded to “aggravated assault.”
Real head scratchers
Bad news for those who waited for marriage in Washington: It’s illegal to have sex with a virgin, regardless of age, and that includes the night of the wedding. You may as well just move to Samoa where that’s legal, but it’s illegal if you forget your wife’s birthday. Maybe things would bode better if you spent some time in Massachusetts, where it’s not allowed to go to sleep without having a bath first (however, bathing of any sort is prohibited on Sundays).
Your own body odor is going to be the worst of your problems if you travel to England, where it’s illegal to take corpses or rabid dogs with you in those staple black cabs. People might assume you’re an eccentric celebrity if you tried, but just don’t say, “I’m really an actor” in Los Angeles if you’re a waiter (otherwise, the police may come hunt you down).